I told you so.
* "Kicks So Ass" is a new catch phrase that Don Bolles, Dave Arnson and I are trying to popularize. Spread the word!
Sitting in the vintage 1959 upholstery in 1971 Long Beach, I would aim the plastic car on the dashboard between the lanes of projected traffic, avoiding collisions with the celluloid vehicles and staying under the speed limit. The goal was to drive across America from Los Angeles, to New York, but the Driver's Education footage only showed a generic highway. Still, I was behind the wheel of an automobile and driving, so I got my ten cents worth. I found the image of the Auto Test at the website for Marvin's Marvelous Mechanical Museum, which looks like a place I'm going to have to visit if I ever get around to Farmington Hills, Michigan. Marvin seems to have a passion for non-pinball arcade games, and if his page on the Auto Test in any indication, all of you vintage game fans out there will have a lot of reading to do.
I love jukeboxes. Always have. The reason is simple. It is one of the few opportunities in life to inflict ones personal musical taste over the general public. Recording mix tapes is one thing, but jukeboxes = a young disc jockey hopeful's first public performances. At least the jukebox was to me. And I would take my selections seriously. After all, you only got three songs for that quarter, and I was going to pick the three BEST songs! Now that I am a geezer, I have become one of those bastards that likes to fill a jukebox with $20 worth of tunes so that it plays only my songs for the next few hours. I love looking over the glowing selections, trying to get a read on a bar based on what's inside the jukebox. Back in high school, I would hang out at the Ram Shack, an after-school hangout at the El Dorado Park Recreation Center. In addition to girls, bumper pool and ping-pong, the Ram Shack had a jukebox that played for free! So I would always try to program the afternoon's tunes. Usually, the memory was so packed that I seldom heard anything I wanted. Here, let me slog through the top singles of 1977, and see what I played for the gang on those rare occasions when the memory on the box would be reset and I was there when it happened. Remember, while punk rock did exist, it did not exist inside the jukebox at the Ram Shack. This sadly, would be a best-case situation:
Channel 52 was KBSC, and they only operated for half the day, starting around 3:00pm in the afternoon. They played all the stuff the other channels had passed on. Three Stooges, The Little Rascals, Felix The Cat, Speed Racer, Kimba The White Lion...stuff like that. So not only did they play all these cool shows, they did it on this weird UHF channel that only a few people knew about. The station went through a ritual every broadcast day. At around 2:00pm the station would put up the station logo which looked sorta like the illustration. Just a big number 52 with with call letters and cities of operation. For an entire hour, the station would show that logo card and play one song over and over and over again. We didn't know the name of the song, we just knew it as the "Waiting for channel 52 to start" music. And often is the time we would sit there and listen to the song over and over, waiting. I mean, who needs to see Magilla Gorilla and Squidly Diddly again when soon there would be Speed Racer with all those wonderful crashes and explosions and gasping! And the song was really kind of...happy. Later on, during one of our teenage "KRUD" radio sessions when we were looking for music for commercials, Dana found an album in his parents collection. The Best Of Bert Kaempfert. Playing it, we recognized a few of the tunes. "Hey, that's the song to the old Match Game!" "Yeah!" Then we listened to a song called "That Happy Feeling" and the world stopped. "CHANNEL 52!!!" we screamed! The mystery had been solved, and we weren't even trying to solve one! The composer and performer of the "Waiting for channel 52 to start" was Bert Kaempfert and the song was really called "That Happy Feeling", and from that day on, I've been a fan. And because of the channel 52 connection, I've found quite a few people who feel the same way. I've also met those who despise the music of Bert Kaempfert, for example Stella's boyfriend, the King of Hair. Instead of associating the music of Bert with an afternoon of great television entertainment, the Buffalo, N.Y. born King of Hair associates his music with getting up for school with an icy wind blowing across a freezing Lake Erie and hearing Bert's beautiful music behind the local weather reports.
I'm on the ball today, you betcha! My KXLU show posted on the same day it was broadcast. I am a "Human Dynamo"! During this show I take a ride in what Stella calls "The Punk Rocking Chair". The file is hosted at Megaupload, so lemme know if all goes well when you try to download this 161mb file! Click on Nosferatu, then on the new page type in the 3-digit code and hit enter! On the next page that appears, find the column headed "free". At the bottom of that column, you should see a countdown, usually starting around 45 or so. When that gets to zero, a new download button should appear. Hit that button and it should start the download. That's what they say!
When we got there, we discovered that a few of the exhibits had been covered behind lucite. The Skin-Man's skin no longer swayed in the breeze. It made sense to protect the exhibits, but the Skin-Man was just so perfect. Dr. Gunther soon arrived and did not disappoint. He was happy to pose anywhere with any of his friends. That's what he calls 'em, and I believe him. We explained our disappointment of the lucite covering of the Skin-Man, and Von Hagens quickly suggested that we have the enormous cover removed right then and there! It would have taken a while and whole lot of effort, so Carol politely declined the offer. He did pose with the flayed Hat-Man, wearing a truly Lugosi-type grin. We then moved to the solarium area of the Science Center, where he had given the talk on preserving the placenta. We were standing next to his vertically sliced man, a guy sliced vertically into two-inch slices. I noticed that the sliced guy had a tattoo. Between photos, I had a moment to ask Gunther a question. "So, doctor, what kind of music do you like?", "Classical, I love to listen to Brahms" he may have answered. I'm really not sure. His English is very very German. I had a follow-up. "Do you play an instrument?" "Piano. I play to relax." Again, maybe he said that. "Well, I'll let you get back to the shoot, but thank you very much for your time!" We shook hands and I realized that I was shaking hands with A REAL LIVE MAD SCIENTIST!
I asked his him if I could take a photo with one of his figures, particularly, the front slice of the guy that he is holding in the above photo. The slice of the Slice-Man that had his face. He said it would be okay, so here I am, looking through the Slice-Man's eyelids. Yes, it is an unusual experience. Carol took a few more photos, and then Dr. Gunther told us of his plan to plastinate an elephant and then cut it into three-inch cubes. Or something like that. I think that's what he said.
Time to bring the Music For Nimrods Archives to the Music For Nimrods Blog! Lotsa old vinyl in this November 3, 2007 edition of the KXLU broadcast, plus a tribute to the late Girlschool lead guitarist Kelly Johnson. The file is hosted at Megaupload, so lemme know if all goes well when you try to download this 164mb file! Click on Nosferatu, then on the new page type in the 3-digit code and hit enter! On the next page that appears, find the column headed "free". At the bottom of that column, you should see a countdown, usually starting around 45 or so. When that gets to zero, a new download button should appear. Hit that button and it should start the download. No, Really! Here's the lineup:
Hey Hoodlum,
Sunday night brought Stella and me to Beyond Baroque in Venice, where we took part in one of Gerry Fialka's Media Ecology Soul Sessions (M.E.S.S. for short), where we discussed the History of Alternative Radio in Los Angeles. Here is a photo of moderator Gerry Fialka, me, your humble narrator & Stella of Stray Pop (representing KXLU), and former KMET dj and current KCSN program director Martin Perlich. Folks actually showed up, and a very cool discussion of all things radio took place. We were invited to bring a old sample of our radio work. I brought a clip from my old KPFK show, where transsexual go-go dancer Vida DeVille explained how to look your best while incarcerated. Stella brought an amazing clip from 1985, when the studio was filled with Lux & Ivy from the Cramps AND Screamin' Jay Hawkins! His description of the recording session for "I Put a Spell On You" was hysterical!